Well this week has been awful.
For the past week or so I've been noticing that food has been going missing but I thought it must just be Katie or BT eating and I didn't think anything of it.
Friday rolls along and Katie comes home from school. All of sudden she comes charging down from her bedroom - all of her money that she's been saving is gone. Every.last.penny. Then BT noticed that the huge pillar candle we used to keep our change in is missing. Jamie. He's the only other person who knew about the candle and the only one with balls enough to creep in whilst I was sleeping and steal it. Seems Katie left the door unlocked when she left for school and I didn't wake until about 45 minutes after she left. I was ...um...pissed off to say the least. So I called the police and the officer who came here told me that unfortunately I couldn't PROVE it was Jamie so I couldn't charge him. I told the officer that Jamie was breaching his probation because he's back to living on the streets and sleeping outside. The cop told me that they wouldn't search for him and wouldn't even question him about the thefts from my house. Frustrating.
Saturday afternoon and BT leaves the house to go to the store. Five minutes later he comes thundering back in - the front windshield on his brand new car is smashed in. Not another car in the parking lot has been touched - three guesses who threw the rock through the windshield. So we call the cops again and they won't even come out, they take a report over the PHONE!!! Eventually the cop who was here on Saturday night calls and we ask him "Look, if we see Jamie out the street after his curfew can we hold him until the police come?" The very nice officer says yes yes we can. I figure it's got to better having him in the detention home than sleeping on the streets and breaking in here. Plus, gawd knows we can't afford to be replacing BT's windshield every week - that's $300 a week we can't afford. So I made the decision to turn him in if I catch him on the street.
So after 11 BT and I go out hunting Jamies. Two minutes later who comes strolling down the street, filthy and stinking. BT grabbed him and I hightailed it to a phone to call for the officer that told us we could hold him. It took nearly a half hour for the cops to come and four cruisers showed up when they finally did. Because Jamie was screaming his head off, it turns out that half the street had been calling 911 because they thought someone was being killed. Jamie wasn't hurt, not even bruised except for his ego. The cops took him away and I had to fill out a statement saying that he had NOT been living with me,I believed that he had been breaking into my house and had smashed the windshield on BT's car.
The best part is when we were waiting for the police to show up, Jamie informed me that this was all my fault and that if Potsie and I hadn't split up none of this would have happened. Greeaaaattttt. A heaping helping of guilt with a side order of bad parenting. Happy friggin Mothers Day. Jamie will never forgive me for having him arrested. I'm just feelin like a great mother today. I hope I did the right thing.
8 years ago
13 comments:
Cruel to be kind is an old cliche, but they get to be cliches because there is an element of truth to them. My mum has had to have my eldest brother committed several times. He always hates her for it at the time, but he always thanks her for it later. You are doing the right thing, but sadly it may take a long time before that becomes apparent.
I am so sorry! Unfortunately you win the award for worst Mother's Day. It sounds like a good excuse for retail therapy.
Knowing Jamie somewhat on a personal level, what else could you do? I wouldn't have hesitated to do the same thing. I know how it must feel bad, Gawd do I know! But, in the end, you are doing EVERYONE involved a favour. Jamie will never stop until he's arrested, and even then, I'm not sure anymore if he'll learn anything from that.
Ever since my oldest son turned 14, he has been nasty, uncooperative, and unable to go to school without getting tossed. He was diagnosed with adolescent depression. He is the oldest of four...and was the most troublesome. I have been in your shoes many times. He is now back home, age 26, an ex heroin addict who is Hep C positive. I have had to make the hard decisions many, many times. His last two hospitalizations were his idea. That's progress. He takes his meds faithfully. That's progress. There are many other marks of progress and it has taking many hard decisions to bring him to this place. You have no other alternative. We all wish that we didn't have this kind of crap to deal with. It shouldn't be this hard. However, this is the result of having been born human. We are all subject to crap. So, don't feel guilty, just be glad you weren't born a cow....born, milked, and sent to the slaughter.
First time here, via a link over at Critter Chicks place. I just thought I'd be nosey and take a peek.
I like it here!
And like Cathy, I think a good spot of retail therapy will do you the world of good.
Oh. Forgot to say 'Hello'.... Hello!
You DID DO the right thing. It is very hard to be a parent of a brat! no matter the age. And someday he may thank you. do not blame yourself... you have no reason to feel guilty, he made the choices.
You did the right thing! Better to hurt his feelings than to let him do something that will ultimately hurt himself. He will forgive you honey, when his brain grows up to match his body. These things take time, hang in there and don't bother with guilt. You are doing the only things you can, don't give up.
You absolutely did the right thing and hopefully, further down the road, this "worst" Mother's Day will have turned into the beginnings of the best Mother's Days.
I also can't help but think that if Jamie were in your shoes, he would have done the same thing and turned you in.
Hang in there!
Blogeois
I don't know the boy, but he seems like a real butt-head. I agree with everyone else...you DID do the right thing!!! No second guessing it. You may have had a crappy mom's day, but you DEF are a good mom!
Hang in there Lost. I'm thinking of you.
Christ on a bike. Happy friggin' Mother's Day, indeed. I'm so sorry for you, Lost. For what it's worth, you did do the right thing. It's just a pity you're always forced to ask yourself that question.
Thinking of you on this end.
Tough love is the hardest kind to give. Hang in there!
wow. didn't know you were having such troubles with your son. i only read the five most recent postings so I am no historian on your son or the situation - have you ruled out substance abuse?
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