Sorry to be ranting again. I've been really cranky for the last little while and I've been kinda snappy but omg I saw something last night that just gets my goat you know?
I was in the grocery store for just a couple things and there I am minding my own business when this unholy shrieking begins. You've all heard that sound - the sound of a small child having a tantrum. Thank goodness mine are too old for that but ohhh I know the sound. So I round the aisle and there is a 4 possibly 5 year old laying in the middle of the aisle having a kicking screaming temper tantrum because (from what I could understand between tears, screams and shrieks) Mommy wouldn't buy this little princess the cereal she wanted. Mommy is standing there saying "Now come on honey" and "keep that up and you are going to have a time out" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I don't know about you but I would NEVER have tried that on my mother. My little behind would have been sore and then my mother would have to told me to stop snivelling and walked away from me. Of course it's now politically incorrect to spank your kids and from what I can tell, the parents have lost control.
Everyone I know (my age) had corporal punishment and it doesnt seem to have twisted our psyches. Maybe I'm old fashioned but I don't think a swat on the behind is going to irreperally damaged your child - I'm not talking beatings here, I'm talking correction and discipline. I mean for gods sakes, if you don't have control when they are 5 it's not going to get any better when they are 15.
I find it strange in the years since it became unacceptable to spank your children - violent crime has gone up, kids are killing kids, gangs are on the rise and there are more serial killers than ever before in history. Is this all co-incidental? Maybe , maybe not.
By the way, Mommy got the little princess the cereal she wanted and the little "angel" popped up from the floor all smiles and started skipping down the aisle ahead of her mother.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
8 years ago
8 comments:
I LOVE that you brought this topic up! I remember when my daughter was barely 2 (it was her first and LAST true temper tantrum btw) that she threw herself to the ground, kicking and screaming as I tried to hurry her out of the mall. Well, she had thrown herself backwards, getting ready to kick the ground, as I always held her hand when walking if she wasn't in a stroller, I grabbed tight so that she wouldn't hit her noggin on the concrete floor. A woman spots me, gives me absolute s**t for hurting her, gimme a break, hurting her? I was saving her! I told her where to go and to mind her business, but I was so angry with my daughter, her and I walked the 5 miles home! She never did it again. She got an earful from me let me tell you.
Oh hell no. My mama'd smack me back into the dairy.
Spanking a tantrum-throwing child is NOT a bad thing.
Jesus, sounds like my sister with her kid. I go crazy listening to her say "isn't he sooooo cute?" as the demon child spits his coke all over my new shirt. God forbid he doesn't get what he wants! I keep telling her, that child would be a different human being if he stayed with me for one week....
I have no kids and never will, so it's easy for me to give out loads of parental advice.
When I see a kid having a tantrum in public, I usually feel sorry for the poor parent, but when that parent gives in and buys the little snot what they were screaming about, it's the parents that I want to give a good swat to. Don't they realize they are ruining their own kids?!
i brought this topic up last year when they started talking about banning spanking and there are a lot of very, very anti-spanking people out there.
my kids got spanked and now i have 2 very-well disciplined daughters and one son who is just a pain. these days, if he's late for supper then tough, it's cold, etc. he still tries the water-works and so i drag him into his bedroom until he calms down - which can take hours!
Hey, I poped over from Joans. What a subject! Your are right and every one wanders why the prisons are full! Have a good day!
My mum had a three strikes and out rule. The first two times I asked for something I would get the answer "no". The third time I would get the answer "don't ask again". If I dared to do so a clip round the ear was swiftly forthcoming.
I tried not to spank my kids, not because I disagree with spanking but because I wanted to keep it as the ultimate deterrent, so they would know that if I raised my hand to them they had seriously crossed the line. So I used my mums logic, but in my case the third warning was "no, and if you ask again, not only will you not get it, but I will take something else that you like away as well." The problem is too many parents don't carry through those threats. The kid has to know you mean it.
Another child parenting the parent. Whether spanking or not was deserved, the bribe teaches a horrid lesson; however, the big picture does need to be considered.
I have been in the position of choosing battles before and have done bribes but in the bigger picture the discipline is well balanced and my children very well behaved (even the oldest with his asperger's knows appropriate bounds which isn't to say that he doesn't overstep them). It helps to remember the definition of the word discipline - to teach. If such a bribe is used frequently or everytime then bad parenting is occuring. If the bribe is used once in a blue moon then perhaps the parent was too overwhelmed to handle the situation any other way at the moment.
Stephen R Covey in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People relates a story of one man (Stephen himself if I am not mistaken) interacting with another at a subway station. The other's 3 children are running amuck and being a general distrubance to the other people waiting for the train. The other man ignores them. Finally as the one man 's tension and anger grows he speaks to the other man explaining that he should control his kids. As the other man looks up he apologises and says "oh, I guess I should. I suppose they don't know how to react right now. See, we just came from the hospital where their mother died an hour ago." Stephen's message: unless we first seek to understand, to empathize, we cannot help or advise as we ourselve may be misguided in such an attempt. In the case of understanding the other man's predicament would we want to continue to be critical of him or would we be eagar to say "Oh, I'm sorry. How can I help?"
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