I made it.

I made through the week. Joy's funeral was basically a memorial as she was cremated, but it was very nice and there was a real feeling of love listening to her family.

Jamie has called a couple of times this week wanting me to deliver more clothes to him there at the youth shelter. BT says if Jamie wants his stuff he's going to have to come here and get it. BT still figures I'm going to let Jamie come back but I can't help but think how nice the quiet has been - no fighting, no need to lock everything up and food left in the fridge after more than 2 days.

So all my Christmas shopping is done except for a new memory card for Katie's mp3 player. It's all she asked for and it's not too expensive. I got all my Christmas cards mailed out - woo hoo. Last year, I don't think I sent a single card - heck this year I even sent out cards to the relatives in Scotland. I have one last package to put in the mail but I think I still have plenty of time for that.

I think I'm actually starting to feel better not like I'm hanging on by my fingernails any more. I've decided that if there is going to be apologizing done to Tonya's parents it'll have to Jamie that does it - I feel bad about what happened but nothing I can say will change what happened. I told Potsie (the ex) about it tonight and I think he actually looked relieved that he hasn't had to deal with any of this. I think I need to start giving the cops HIS number to call when Jamie gets in trouble. Ah well, I hope everyone has a good weekend, I'm going to visit Grandma so that should eat up most of tomorrow lol.